Now, let's see. I have been living in Tassy for almost a week. I live in Christ College (feel free to laugh at the irony) on the top fourth floor. What UTAS tactfully leaves out of their travel brochures is that UTAS is built on the steepest hill ever. I walk up and down that thing twice daily (at least) and every time, without fail, I am left breathless and sweaty. I am sure that the Australians thought it a terrific joke to put me not only on top of this hill, but at the top of the dormitory so I could walk up the extra floors. This hill, though I love to exaggerate, is truly a pain in the butt. I am not looking forward to walking the 3 miles to the exquisite art building and then having to do that same treck back uphill. I kind of wish I had a car to avoid this beast, however, I can barely cross the street without almost dying, so I will stay a cheerfully complaining walker.
As I mentioned previously, I live in Christ College. This is a dorm in which all years of college students dwell. We have our own detailed history and traditions. Really, the only thing I could compare this place to is a co-ed fraternity. This week is our "O-Week"; a week known for parties, drinking and most importantly, hazing. I thought I was lucky that I didn't have to haze in Theta...well, Christ College puts American Frats to shame. Each fresher is given a card board cut out of a vulgar shape and is told to write her name on it in big letters. Then, we were sorted into colored teams. I am on team blue! True blue all the way! Currently, the Lifers (older hazing students) are having the times of their lives with us. During our Sex Ed session, we were forced to have a condom application race, along with reading awkward embarrassing facts about the human body. I felt really bad for all of the Asian exchange students who are very conservative and silent. This must have been quite the culture shock.
In addition to our "Sex Ed", we had a scavenger hunt and a trip to the beach. Instead of just letting us enjoy these activities however, we were given a new rule called "Dead Ant". Every time a lifer screamed out DEAD ANT, freshers MUST drop to the floor on their backs and flail their arms and legs. The last person down is given a massive, bright red dog collar to wear. The second to last person gets to hold the leash attached the collar. I have yet to be "collared" but I feel like my time is limited. We are also learning fun songs. For instance, the one I can remember is about the days of the week. "Monday is a good day, Tuesday is a whore day, Wednesday is a Wanker day, Thursday, aw thursday is a training day..." These songs, vulgar and offensive, are on the top priority lists things freshers must learn with proficiency.
So tomorrow we freshers are doing tours. We have tours of our classrooms and then a tour of a local brewery. Then comes the introduction to the GC (Gentlemen's club) and the CLAS (College Ladies are Superior) prior to our first formal dinner. Afterwards comes the "scribble party" where we all wear white shirts and write all over them in sharpie, and we conclude our evening with a night of karaoke.
I am exhausted and O-week may be the death of me, but I only live once. They say the "O" stands for "orientation" but I am no fool. It stands for "Oh my god, what have I gotten myself into?!" or "Oh holy Jesys". I am now part of a tradition that is longer than many at Whitman. The Dead Ant thing has been around for at least 40 years (insane I know). Whoever thought that tradition up must have bad back issues. Luckily for me, this week has helped me make friends. I feel as though I am only making my transition friends, but that is fine for now. I figure that I have two very good friends (Becky and Lisa) and I was lucky enough to have met them on day 1 of orientation. I love Tasmania. The sun never leaves the sky (sunset isn't until 8) and the water is potable (due to lack of pollution and lack of natural parasites). I do appreciate the need to walk everywhere and the fitness levels of everyone around me.
I am just super tired. The beach trip was lovely and I had a great time but I all I really want to do is go back into my fuzzy blanketed bed and cozy up to my laptop and watch an AMERICAN movie. Culture shock manifests itself in the worst ways: when I order my black coffee in the morning and the man asks if I want "to have here or take away" and I can never understand him; when I try to walk upstairs and I run into everyone because I'm on the wrong side; when I have a conversation with an Aussie and I have to lean in super awkwardly close because I have no idea what he is saying; when people try to actively kill animals (* that one isnt that bad, just weird). The massive hole in the o-zone is directly above Hobart, so I cannot leave the college without slathering on sunscreen. I have a heart attack every time when Bobby crosses the street and screams in a pitch that should be reserved for only the most trained opera sopranos due to the sneaky on coming traffic. Luckily for me, everyone here loves California. But I am just waiting for the really bad day to hit me, the day classes are in session and I am just missing home and then everything will hit me at once: the coffee, the language differences, the crazy aggressive spiders, and the fact that there are two flushers on the toilets, the television shows that are 4 episodes behind, the love of pranks that involve poop and showers (*that is truly disgusting, but Aussies think poop is the FUNNIEST thing ever, and they love to use it in pranks).
Alright y'all. All of my friends left to go party and I am going to watch a movie in my bed. I need at least one good night's sleep if I am to survive the rest of this nutzo week. Love and miss you all.
-Alie the Tassy
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